Getting Started

Getting Started

Chris's parents were proud of him when he graduated from college. But it's been six months and he hasn't gotten a job yet. In fact, he hasn't looked seriously. He has no idea what he wants to do and he's thinking of grad school.

He's living at home with his parents and things are getting tense, especially with his father, who accuses Chris of being lazy and afraid to enter the real world.

Chris thinks his dad is being totally unreasonable. After all, he's only young once and he needs some "space." During a recent argument, Chris said, "I'm not you, Dad. I have my own way of doing things. I want a job I enjoy."

His dad replied, "That's a nice idea, but in the end they call it 'work' because it's about making a productive living - not having fun."

There are many youngsters like Chris who are having trouble getting started with a serious job and becoming self-reliant. Some, like Peter Pan, just don't want to grow up. Some are afraid of making a wrong decision or of being rejected. Others are victims of what psychologists call "magical thinking." They believe that when the time is right, everything will fall into place. So they wait for opportunity to come knocking or until they feel inspired or excited about their next step.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. What's crucial is to begin. Things happen and opportunities appear most often when we're moving, not standing still.

Momentum is vital. Basic physics says it's easier to alter the course of a moving object than to start movement initially. In the end, it's not really about finding yourself. It's about making yourself.

The first steps are the hardest, but the key to success in anything is getting started.

Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org

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What can gratitude do?

"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings."

William Arthur Ward
1921-1994, Writer

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Are you satisfied with what you are doing right now?

"Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure."

Thomas Edison 1847-1931, Inventor and Scientist

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If we all did the things we are really capable of doing...

If we all did the things we are really capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves....

Thomas Edison 1847-1931, Inventor and Scientist

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Achieving excellence

"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less than excellent work."

Thomas Watson
1874-1956, Founder of IBM

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Talking to each other instead of about each other...

"I've always believed that a lot of the troubles in the world would disappear if we were talking to each other instead of about each other."

Ronald Reagan
1911-2004, 40th President of the United States

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The most wonderful gift one human being can give to another...

"The most wonderful gift one human being can give to another, is in some way, to make that person's life a little bit better to live."

John Assaraf
Author and Speaker

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Be Incredible!

Be Incredible

There is nothing better than a championship. It doesn't matter if it's my college roommate and me in the horseshoe championship of Northeast Missouri State University (which we did win in 1992). Or, a real championship, such as a high school basketball title; championships are special.

To that end, I used to attend as many of the Missouri State high school basketball championships as I could. Every March, my wife and I would make our way to the Hearnes Center on the University of Missouri campus to watch the best of the best play for a chance to experience a dream, wear a medal and call themselves the best.

It's something really, the championship game. Each team is given a corner of the arena. There, teen-agers dressed and painted in school colors pack together to cheer their team. Over the years, we have heard all sorts of cheers. I remember cheers, more like yells and screams, from the cheerleaders from the all boy private prep schools. I recall cheers from cheerleaders with enough team spirit that they may have been pulled for a 'speed' drug test. I recall another cheering squad with as much enthusiasm as the coach's white board. But, the cheer that stands out didn't come from a cheer leading squad, but from a student body and community.with one memorable word.

The game pitted two opposites. The legendary Vashon High School Wolverines from East St. Louis, an inner city type school with a great basketball tradition. They were facing another St. Louis school, a private St. Louis school, known for wealth. The private school had cheerleaders and a very large following, probably filling in over 4,000 seats.

Vashon was much the opposite. Behind Coach Floyd Irons, the team traveled with a fraction of the fans and no cheer squad.'they will have to do their talking on the court,' I thought as the game began with the opening tip.

Both teams were talented. Led by a short and strong point guard, Vashon was poised and in control. The private school was talented as well, and aggressive on defense. The game went back and forth early, with both teams trading baskets. But, by the mid-point of the second quarter, Vashon opened an eight-point lead. After a time out, the private school trapped a Vashon ball handler in the corner. That's when the Vashon crowd, above the noise and screams of the 4,000 fans in the opposite colors could be heard chanting, 'Be incredible.B-E IN-CREDIBLE...Be Incredible, Be incredible." And, right on cue, the ball handler broke the trap, passed to a teammate who found another for an easy basket.

And, that's how the game unfolded. Vashon held on tightly to a ten-point lead, fighting off a talented team and huge opposing crowd. Each time they were challenged, their fans would stand and cheer, "Be incredible, B-E INCREDIBLE. Be incredible, be incredible!"

"It is a very funny thing about life," W. Somerset Maugham once wrote, "if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it." It has been well over a decade since I watched gold metals being gently placed around the necks of the young Vashon players. I have forgotten the score of the game, the name of the preppy private school and even each team's colors. But, when life is pressing me down and I seem to be double teamed in a corner, I will pause, take a deep breath and recall a cheer from my past. One that pulls and tugs greatness out of me when I don't think it's there. A cheer that is full of confidence in what I can do, even when I'm not. I pause and allow an echo in my head, "Be Incredible, B-E In-credible!'

Matt Forck, CSP & JLW, is a speaker and author residing in Columbia, MO. This story is from Matt's new release called, Check Up From the Neck Up - -101 Ways to Get Your Head in the Game of Life; a book focused on helping the reader increase energy, gain perspective and find and keep balance. To learn more about Matt or to comment on today's story go to: www.thesafetysoul.org

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Enthusiasm...

"Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles."

Og Mandino
1923-1996, Author of A Better Way To Live

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Constant kindness...

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."

Dr. Albert Schweitzer
1875-1965, Medical Missionary and Nobel Prize Winner

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Dwell not on the past...

"Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."

Eileen Caddy
1917-2006, Spiritual Teacher and Author

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What are you thinking about?

"Here's the problem. Most people are thinking about what they don't want, and they're wondering why it shows up over and over again."

John Assaraf
Speaker and Author

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Lost in Translation

Lost in Translation

There is definitely something to be said for the unspoken word. Those moments when a simple look or touch tells you exactly what the other person is thinking or feeling. Sadly as magical as those "silent" moments may be, overtime I think we rely too much on them and those thoughts or feelings we are trying to convey to one another get lost in translation.

We forget that the spoken word has some pretty powerful magic of its own.

We stop saying "I love you" because we assume that it is a well-known fact. We stop complimenting each other, because after a while, we figure "its all been said before, so why say it again". We stop telling our loved ones how much we appreciate the things they do, because those things become the norm, lose their luster and eventually go unnoticed.

I saw an elderly couple in the grocery store the other day. They seemed as though they were still in the "honeymoon phase" of their relationship. He held her hand, kissed her cheek and told her he loved her all in the few moments I was near them. Her response was to pat him on the cheek and say "I love you too handsome".

Yes it seemed a little strange of a scene for grocery shopping, but also refreshing to see people who I'm sure have lived through many heartaches, letdowns and broken promises to still be so loving and cherish another human being's affection so much. I found myself wondering. are they new to this relationship or have they been together most of their lives? The answer didn't really matter much to me, but the question was worth thinking about. If they were new to the relationship, they were off to a good start. If they had been together for 30-40 years, well. I'd say we could all learn a lot from them.

Seeing these two made me consider my own life and how I communicate with the people I love. I considered how many times I have looked at my husband or daughter and felt an almost breathtaking amount of love, compassion or pride for them and yet I stood and said nothing. I considered how many times I lay next to my husband and wanted nothing more than to be close to him and yet I did not move from my side of the bed. And I wonder why that is. Is it some deep-rooted insecurity or fear of rejection? Probably. But even so, am I not a strong enough person to overcome those fears? I would hope so. Because life is too short not to make the most of every moment you have with the ones you love.

So what have I learned from this? Where do I go from here? How do I change my ways?...

When I find myself hesitating to express my affections, I will reflect on what I felt when I saw the elderly couple in the grocery store. I will stop to notice the expressions and actions of those in my life and I will react accordingly (there are right times and wrong times for shows of affection). I will appreciate the unspoken moments and look forward to the spoken ones - and I will make an effort to initiate both. I will be a more considerate and confident wife, a more complementary parent, a more compassionate friend, a more eager and expressive lover and overall a more expressively honest person. I will notice and appreciate what others do for me and revel in the moment each time a kind word is spoken to me. I will not allow those precious moments to be lost, forgotten or go unnoticed. And last but not least, I will pray that when I reach an elderly age, I will still hold all of those moments in such high regard; I will not become complacent in life and that I will still be assurrounded by love as I amtoday.

Cynthia Scheid
Cynthia is a speaker and coach. Please feel free to contact her with your thoughts on today's story through her website at: www.LEScoach.com

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How close are you to success?

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

Thomas Edison
1847-1931, Inventor and Scientist

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Deliberately seek the company of people who...

"Deliberately seek the company of people who influence you to think and act on building the life you desire."

Napoleon Hill
1883-1970, Author

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Moments when you have truly lived...

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."

Henry Drummond
1851-1897, Scientist and Author

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Who does the future belong to?

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

Eleanor Roosevelt
1884-1962, Former First Lady, Author and Speaker

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A Touch of Lemon

A Touch of Lemon

When I met Mr. Jim Lemon, I was a sixteen-year-old freshman at Houston's Jackson Junior High and the chances of my finishing high school were slim. I was a troubled teenager with an attitude, living in a neighborhood that fostered troubled teenagers.

Mr. Lemon taught American history and it was clear from the first day that his classroom was not going to be disrupted. It was apparent very quickly that Mr. Lemon was quite different from the other teachers I had known. Not only was he a disciplinarian, but also he was a great teacher. He would never settle for my usual standard of classroom work. Mr. Lemon pushed and prodded and never tolerated the mediocrity that had become my standard.

On the occasion of our first semester report cards, Mr. Lemon called me aside and asked how it was possible that I was a B student in his class and a D and F student in the rest of my classes.

I was ready for that question. I passionately told him about my divorced parents, the local gangs, the drugs, the fights, and the police - all the evils that I had been subjected to. Mr. Lemon listened patiently and when I was through he responded, "There's a problem with your list Mr. Phillips, you are not on it."

Then Mr. Lemon explained that the only person responsible for my situation was me. And the only person with the potential to change my situation was me, and that when I personally accepted that responsibility I could make a significant change in my life.

He convinced me that I was failing not because I was a failure, but because I was not accepting the responsibility for my results in those other classes. Mr. Lemon was the first teacher I had who made me believe in myself. He inspired me to become a better student and he changed my life.

Ten years later, I spoke to him again. I was preparing to graduate from Chaminade University in Honolulu.

It had taken weeks of telephone calls to find him but I knew what I had to say. When I finally did get Mr. Lemon on the telephone, I explained what his brutal honesty had meant to me, how I finally graduated from high school, and how I was a proud staff sergeant in the Army. I explained how I had married the most beautiful and wonderful woman of my dreams and how we had a beautiful a daughter.

Most of all I wanted him to know that I was about to graduate magna cum laude after going to school for four hours a night, four nights a week for three years. I wanted him to know that I could never have done any of these things if he had not been a part of my life.

Finally, I told him that I had been saving money for two years so that I could invite he and his wife to come to Hawaii at my expense to be part of my graduation. I'll never forget his response. Mr. Lemon said, "Who is this again?"

I was just one of hundreds of students whose life he changed and he seemed genuinely surprised of his impact.

Perhaps none of us realize the impact that we have on other people nor do other people have any idea how much of an impact they have on us. How much, then, should we be aware of our influence on others to make sure that it is for the best? And how much more should we tell those who have had a positive impact on our lives?

Rick Phillips

Rick Phillips is a motivational speaker and trainer. You can visit his website at: www.rickphillips.com or feel free to email your comments to pssd@earthlink.net

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What thoughts are we responsible for?

"If we are not responsible for the thoughts that pass our doors, we are at least responsible for those we admit and entertain."

Charles Newcomb
Screenwriter/Director

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Is your history your destiny?

"To grow, you must be willing to let your present and future be totally unlike your past. Your history is not your destiny."

Alan Cohen

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Do you want a kinder world?

"If you want a kinder world, then behave with kindness; if you want a peaceful world, make peace within."

Dan Millman
Writer and Speaker

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Habits...

"I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time."

Charles Dickens
1812-1870, Writer

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